Updates, Manifesting, and Bullshit.
Hiya,
So I decided the other day to make this post because I need to completely process the things going on in my life right now and put them out into the universe.
It’s not a lie that I have neglected the fuck out of this blog. It’s usually because I’m so busy at work that I don’t feel like even looking at a computer at the end of the day. Actually, sometimes I don’t want to do anything. I have been working as a Trainer for my company since 2016. So it’s consumed most of my life from being shuffled back and forth between taking calls and trainer. The past year has been chaos with COVID where I have take calls maybe a total of 2 months spread out through it. Also, the year before that was the same where I was getting certified to be a Master Trainer which they didn't do anything with me until this past year when I was able to train other trainers. It’s been a lot and I’m exhausted.
Anyways I got demoted from that position last week. They pulled me to a meeting a told me while I was taking calls I was flagged for call avoidance cause I was transferring calls to a partner because the knowledge-based article that I was looking at literally says they handle their own calls. There was an email that came out in Jan when I wasn’t taking calls and was helping with training that said otherwise. I missed that email. However, when I was pulled about this before this meeting I let my coach know why I was transferring them as well and he said ok that’s good as long as you are following that. So yeah…. that happened. I was floored. Like I have been so flexible to doing anything they ask of me that was in the best interest of this company and they would think I would do this intentionally. I mean I get it but WTF? Honestly, I’m insulted. I even wrote a lengthy email in reply to it to dispute it. Cause in the words of Black Thought ‘If you ain't standing up for yourself, then stay seated.” It’s just disheartening.
So once I got through my angry crying. Cause you know when you are so angry you just start crying yeah that shit. I had a moment of clarity that this is the first time in years that I will know what my exact schedule is for 6 months. I was also forced to change from my Monday- Friday schedule that I have had since I agreed to joined the program. So I get to work Sunday-Thursday which actually doens’t sound too bad thinking of it.
Since I have been training I get shuffled back and forth between multiple programs and calls so I never know what my schedule is. It makes it hard to plan things ahead due to that. I’ve had to cancel on so many things cause my schedule changed at the last minute. I have Riot Fest coming up in September which is the middle of the training and when I told the Training lead above me she wasn’t too thrilled. Now that doesn’t matter.
Starting Today March 26th until what I have calculator is the end of September I’m on a kind of probation, which means I’m no longer part of the training department during this time. I feel like I can breathe. It’s strange. Honestly, I feel like this is the Universe telling me that I’m wearing myself thin that I need to stop. Actually, I have been having intense daydreams recently about doing my dream jobs which don’t include my current one. So in a way, I feel like this is the beginning of that. So I decided that I am giving myself these 6 months to create. I am going to work more on my health, my art, my blog, my 2 youtube channels: Cooking with a Side of Murder then the Beauty one( which I may change the name of), and Finally my Etsy Shop. My mind is always dreaming and coming up with ideas and random shit. Hence why I changed the name of this blog to Sporadic Bullshit.
So I’m giving myself these 6 months to level myself up. So I’m going to set some goals.
Get my Mental Health in check. This was the last thing I put on the list and then I thought about it and said no it goes to the top. Cause with my schedule and covid it’s been hard to go to places I need to. Since that’s all cleared up a little but not much. I made an appointment to see my doctor. I need to see if I can get a referral or if he can give me something for my ADHD. It’s out of control these days.
Paint more
I’m gonna lose at least 20 lbs. I would like 30 but I will start with 20.
Blog more. I have so many things I want to discuss or review so the possibilities are limitless.
Do more Cooking with a Side of Murder at least every 2 weeks. I have been doing it once a month I want to up that to twice then go from there.
Do More Beauty things. I was going to apply for the Sephora Squad again then realized that I haven’t really done any looks lately. I have a lot of ideas.
Get my Etsy shop to have more constant sales. I don’t promote it enough I could do more. Also, I have been thinking about craft shows or things.
These are just a list of things I want to do in the next 6 months. I did send a dispute to our HR department just for the pure and simple fact that it’s not right and I don’t want it to happen to anyone else. Regardless of what happens with that, I am going to. do these things above. I have to if I want to make my life mean any things.
